Healing From Breakups: A Shadow Work Guide

A 65-page breakup workbook for people who are done avoiding their pain

This isn’t a breakup book about getting over someone.
It’s about understanding why this ending hurt the way it did and what it’s actually asking of you.

Most heartbreak advice focuses on coping, moving on, or reframing the story.
This book does something different.

It treats heartbreak as a psychological and emotional initiation, a moment where something old, unprocessed, and deeply personal has come to the surface.

If you’ve ever thought:

• “Why does this hurt more than it should?”
• “I understand what happened, but my body hasn’t caught up.”
• “I’ve done therapy, journaling, awareness... why am I still stuck?”

This book was written for you.

What This Book Is (and Isn’t)

This is not:

• A motivational guide
• A “high-vibe” breakup manual
• A list of affirmations or coping hacks
• Advice to bypass your grief

This is:

• A shadow-work lens on heartbreak
• A body-based understanding of attachment and loss
• A slow, honest guide to emotional completion
• A workbook designed to help emotions actually move, not just be understood

Every section includes guided shadow-work journaling, with space to write, feel, and reflect — not perform.

Full Index (What You’ll Work Through)

PART I — WHAT ACTUALLY BROKE

They Didn’t Break Your Heart. They Broke Your Fantasy
Why the Pain Feels Bigger Than the Relationship
The Nervous System Doesn’t Miss People — It Misses Safety
Why You’re Not Grieving Them, You’re Grieving the Repair You Hoped For
When a Breakup Feels Like Death (And Why That’s Not Dramatic)
📝 Workbook: Naming What You’re Actually Grieving

PART II — THE SHADOW YOU MET THROUGH THEM

You Didn’t Fall in Love With Them .... You Recognised Something Old
Why Attraction Is Often Familiar Pain in Disguise
The Role They Played That Started Long Before Them
What They Gave You That You’re Afraid You’ll Lose Forever
The Part of You That Only Came Alive With Them
📝 Workbook: Identifying the Shadow Contract

PART III — ATTACHMENT IS A BODY MEMORY

Why “Letting Go” Fails When the Body Is Still Attached
Attachment Styles Are Emotional Survival Styles
Anxious, Avoidant, Disorganised ... What They’re Actually Protecting
Why Your Logic Knows It’s Over but Your Body Doesn’t
The Sensation Map of Missing Someone
📝 Workbook: Tracking Attachment in the Body

PART IV — THE EMOTIONS YOU’RE NEGOTIATING WITH

Why the 7 Stages of Grief Keep You Stuck
How We Stretch Grief Over Years to Avoid Feeling It Fully
The Difference Between Feeling Pain and Circling It
Anger Isn’t the Problem ... It’s the Gateway
Grief Is Unspent Love Looking for Somewhere to Go
📝 Workbook: Emotional Completion Practice

PART V — THE IDENTITY THAT COLLAPSED

Who You Were in That Relationship
Why Breakups Feel Like Identity Death
The Self You Became to Be Loved
What You’re Afraid You’ll Become Without Them
The Secondary Gain of Staying Heartbroken
📝 Workbook: Identity Release + Reclaiming Self

PART VI — THE DEEPER WOUND UNDER THE BREAKUP

This Was Never Just About Them
When Breakups Activate the Mother Wound
When Breakups Activate the Father Wound
Abandonment Isn’t About Them Leaving ... It’s About You Disappearing
The Original Loss You’re Actually Touching
📝 Workbook: Tracing the Wound Back

PART VII — SHADOW INTEGRATION THROUGH HEARTBREAK

Why You Don’t Need Closure From Them
How to Stop Chasing People to Finish Old Stories
Letting the Fantasy Die Without Killing the Heart
What It Means to Take Your Love Back
When the Body Finally Lets Go
📝 Workbook: Somatic Release + Completion

PART VIII — WHAT EMERGES AFTER

The Quiet Confidence That Comes After Real Grief
Why You Won’t Attract the Same Relationship Again
How Desire Changes When Shadow Integrates
Love Without Collapse
This Was the Initiation
📝 Final Integration Practice